How to Become a Sorcerer

There are those that desire power through strength and others through guile. Then there are those find power through faith or obedience to darker powers. You are not one of these lesser creatures. No, not you. You wish to wield power in the palm of your hand and coax lightning to strike from the sky at will. The universe will bend to your will and reality will be shaped by your thoughts. You desire to become a sorcerer. The master of energies that course through the world and a god among men. It’s a fine wish to be sure but is it possible? Of course it is! You can become a sorcerer by following a few easy steps in your spare time. Be warned, it’s a dangerous road that should only be followed the brave. The rewards are great but then again you might blow yourself up. The later probably won’t happen. Probably.

How Long Does it Take to Become a Sorcerer?
If you have natural talent it might take weeks to learn the basics. A lifetime is needed to truly become a master sorcerer. Those that are hindered by a lack of imagination may take longer to become a sorcerer.

Job Availability
Becoming a sorcerer really isn’t about broadening your employment prospects. It’s more about decimating all that oppose you and being feared by the world. Contract work is available.

Income
Vast wealth opportunities await those that can melt vault doors.

Perks
The power of a thousand suns in the palm of your hand.
What else do you need?

Forget Everything You Know About Reality to become a Sorcerer

galaxy and realityReality is a drag and you should begin by disconnecting yourself from rational thought. A fluid mind is a useful mind. Become a sorcerer by questioning all the things you hold to be true about physics, chemistry and even mathematics. They are lies. The real truth is that reality is simply a construct of your mind which can mold it at will if done properly. Paranoia is normal. Once you begin to suspect that the neighbors dog is actually a inter-dimensional being you’re getting on the right track.

Start Dressing in Robes to become a Sorcerer

Becoming a sorcerer requires you to really get in touch with nature and feel the flow of the universe. This is achieved splendidly by ditching the pants and going around exclusively in robes. Don’t worry about the strange looks you’ll get. Eventually all the little people will be bowing before you anyway.

Stay away from Earth tones like green, brown and blue. Those are more for mages who study too much and never go to the good parties. Sorcerers are all about flash and style. Red, yellow and orange are all great colors for your robes. Also, stick with wool fabrics since it is flame retardant and resists absorbing odors.

Be the Fire, Be the Spark, Be the Sorcerer

Sorcerer's ExplosionTo become a great sorcerer you have to commit fully to your new reality that fire can totally come out of your fingers. Don’t think that you can incinerate that guy who made you mad but rather know that you can incinerate him. Feel the fire inside you and let it out! Visualize the flame coming from inside your body and manifesting in the real world. Harness the power of positive thinking and trust your inner power.

It might be hard at first but don’t give up. Becoming a sorcerer is a lot like riding a bike. Time after time you fall, scrape your knees and wonder how it’s done. Then one time you just ‘get it’ and you’re speeding down the sidewalk. You can’t explain how you suddenly figured it out. You just did! You might try a thousand times to call down lightning without success but eventually you’ll get the feeling.

Never Listen To Naysayers

There will always be those that say that your dream of becoming a sorcerer is impossible. They’re just trying to hold you back and keep you from realizing your true potential. It’s a good idea to start isolating yourself from people you know and surround yourself with only those that support your new lifestyle. Bosses, old friends and even parents are going to be the worst. They’re just not going to understand what you’re trying to become and might even try to stop you. Relocation may be unavoidable.

Choose a Great Nickname

Sorcerer and MagicOnce things start rolling in your quest to become a sorcerer you’re going to need a new name. ‘Skoro the Devastator’ is much more impressive than ‘Sam Tillman’. Bury your old name like you buried your notions that physics has rules. A proper nickname consists of two main parts.

Unique Identifier: Your proper name should be dramatic and mysterious. Avoid soft sounds and anything too complicated. Your nickname should be easily shouted by a frightened foe in the last few moments before their demise. ‘Takar’ is a good name with good sounds you can really bite into when saying it. ‘Feesi’ is a terrible name and sounds more like a name for a pixie rather than a sorcerer.

Descriptor: The ending of your new nickname should strike fear into all those that hear it. Alliteration is always a good choice as it really ties the nickname together. ‘Cotro the Combustor’ or ‘Raxon the Ravager’ are good options. Don’t pick something vague or word that can be taken the wrong way. It should be clear from the start that you mean business and are not someone to be messed with.

Help to Get Started Becoming a Sorcerer

Eventually you’re going to want elegant, hand-tailored robes that really show off your personal style but those can be expensive. Pick up some starter robes here and really start feeling how freeing they can be. We’d recommend choosing from this selection on Amazon.

Channeling the mystical forces of the universe can be dangerous for the untrained. It’s likely you’re going to have a few accidents along the way to becoming a sorcerer and you should be prepared. Order yourself a fire extinguisher to put out any pesky little fireballs that get away from you. Also available in a 4-pack from Amazon!