In the depths of our souls lives a question. A timeless conundrum that has plagued philosophers and scientists alike since the dawn of time. The burning puzzle that can only be answered by making the greatest journey known to mankind. Is death the end? Of course not! You’ve known this your whole life and you’re determined to become the master of the undeath. You dream of becoming a powerful necromancer and unlocking the secrets of immortality. It’s a difficult road to be sure but far more fulfilling than tax accounting. Imagine all the chores you can get done with a host of ghoul minions and the joy of seeing your army of zombies spread across the land! Perhaps in the end you’ll crack the code and become an all powerful lich to ride the wave of time until it’s glorious end. It’s a good dream. A respectable goal to be sure. How do you become a necromancer? Let’s discuss.
How Long Does it Take?
- 4-8 years of post-secondary education
- 2-4 years of specialist training
Degrees & Licenses
A minimum of a bachelor’s degree in biology or chemistry.
Doctorate of Medicine is recommended with minor degrees in chemistry and ancient languages.
Good. A successful necromancer is always in high demand amongst the power who wish to trade coin for a longer life.
Dependant on ability. A secondary source of income is recommend for the novice. (Doctor, veterinarian, zookeeper are all good choices.)
- Never having to say goodbye to a favorite pet!
- Work from home!
- Cheap undead labor!
- Eternal life! (Results may vary)
Get a Degree to become a Necromancer
Becoming a good necromancer should start with a quality education. You’ll need a solid understanding of anatomy, chemistry and electrical engineering. Education in dead languages is a must but can be done through independent self-study. The best track to follow on your road to becoming a necromancer is becoming a full blown doctor. This offers you a multitude of advantages.
- Learning latin is much easier when you have a practical application. Science and medicine is rich with latin labels.
- Doctors make good money. You’ll need a hefty amount of start up capital to afford all the tools and supplies necessary for the dark arts. In addition you’ll need a quiet, secluded property to practice and in today’s market those are getting scarce.
- Access to raw materials. You know what I’m talking about.
It’s quite the investment in time and money to become a necromancer but it’s worth it. Plus, when you finally do become a powerful undead monster, you’ll technically be dead. So you won’t have to repay those student loans!
Find a Good Lair to Practice Necromancy
The next step in becoming a necromancer is finding a good place to practice your black arts. The last thing you want is a bothersome neighbor poking around your property when you’re sewing up your flesh golems. Here are some tips:
- Swamps are fantastic. Swampland is cheap and nobody wants to live near one. You’ll have few neighbors to deal with and natural cover to conceal your evil deeds. Plus you can’t beat a good swamp for disposing of failed experiments.
- Good utility access. In today’s modern world you can’t beat the internet for doing research and ordering supplies on the cheap. There’s also the need for good electrical access. A cheap chunk of land can get expensive fast if you have to pay out of pocket for utility lines to be installed.
- Garage / Workshop. A large garage or workshop is a clever way to hide certain expenditures from curious souls. A spiking power bill is easily explained by a few welding units sitting around. They are also great for storing the heavy equipment needed for digging out fresh graves. Digging them by hand is a lot of work!
Research, Research, Research Necromantic Arts
Becoming a necromancer is all about research and if you’ve already gone through getting an MD then a little more shouldn’t bother you. Collect all the tomes and journals you can get your hands on to expand your knowledge of necromancy. This may require some trips to Europe to get your hands on authentic materials since the majority of what you’ll find in other parts of the world will surely be fakes.
You’ll have a hard time becoming a necromancer of any repute if you rely on popular culture to guide you. Paperback copies of the Necronomicon or the Egyptian Book of the Dead are about as useful as a phone book. The last real books on necromancy were penned in the 14th century during the Black Death. Translations may be available but you may have to brush up on your Latin, Italian or even Greek. Always remember the necromancer rule of thumb: If the parchment isn’t people…
Live the Life of a Necromancer, Be Inspired
As technical as becoming a necromancer can be you are in truth an artist. Spell casting, chanting, potion making and creature design all takes an inspired mind. Read plenty of Poe, watch horror movies and don’t be afraid to add some dark purple to your wardrobe. (It hides blood stains.)
Decorate in the traditional manner. Get creative and craft furniture from old bones and spruce things up with some taxidermy. Every doorway needs a good raven or owl to keep watch. Inspirational art is great for decorating and also a great investment. Check out the work of Salvator Rosa for some truly great masterpieces.
Resources for Becoming a Necromancer
Get a jumpstart on your journey to becoming a necromancer by getting in the mood. This delightful catalog of Salvator Rosa paintings, is filled with amazing artwork to help you get inspired.
Just because you deal with the darkest powers known to mankind doesn’t mean you can’t have a sense of humor. In fact, if you can chuckle while conjuring the darkest of souls, then that will strike terror even further. This delightful t-shirt will tickle your funny bone.